I like to know the small details of your life is that odd? I don’t know. I like knowing that you are there when I am never sure rather I am there or not myself. I like when you tell me how your day was and what you did. I don’t know why really. I guess, I just want to know, so I can feel close to you. Knowing what matters, and touches you.

I like knowing what ticks you off, so I could hate it too. I am not projecting and I am not a parasite, I just love you. It is the only way I can be there with you. I can share on what makes you sad, what makes you cry and what makes you laugh. I always want to know what you are up to that way I can know where you are so I could be there for you if you need me. Is that crazy… is it just love or maybe something else? Why do I care so much? Why don’t you mind that I want to know all these things?

You say no to me, only you can at times when everyone else keep saying yes. You know what I am saying even when I don’t know that myself. You respect my thought and my feelings even when they don’t match yours. You let me hurt you but you don’t hurt me back. You only ever wanted to understand why. I could never let you see who I was because I didn’t know who I was myself.

How can I explain all of this to someone who doesn’t even know your existence, they wouldn’t understand, they would have only tried to blow it off as something that is just momentary and pointless. Why can’t they see it like I do??? Why won’t they seek to understand… is it because, like me, they are afraid of what they would see? Are they scared of what they would feel if they were like me? I don’t know but about that, but what I do know is that, I am ready to stop running and ready to face the music… it is such a beautiful symphony, pleasant only to me and the only other who can and want to understand… YOU.

I LOVE YOU,

C

  So here we go again, it is another one of those Fridays when everything is no longer fast and furious as during the week days but slow and languorous like the beginning of the weekend. People everywhere can’t wait to hit the night clubs, others can’t wait until its Saturday and they are spending their times at the beach. As for me, I am just impatient to
get home to my family. I was in school the whole week trying to finish test and quizzes and all that had nothing to do with what I really wanted to do. The whole week I felt as if I was missing the part of me that is vital, feeling really like a robot. When I spoke with my friends, they did nothing to lift my spirit. 

          The only person who could put an end to my restless mood, My girl, wasn’t there. I miss her more than anything; I wonder how I could miss someone so bad. I liked to hear the sound of her voice more than anything else. We usually stayed in the phone for hours on end, without saying anything but feeling closer from hearing our breathing through the
ear piece. It made us feel like we were one, just an extension of each other. She told me in a hurried called on Monday in her way to the airport that she was missing me already and didn’t want to spend one more minute without seeing me. I told her I felt the same but needed to board the plane already if she didn’t want her mom to chop my head off for stalling her daughter. We laughed, and said our goodbyes with wistful I love yous.

      Today was Friday and I was going back home, finally! My reasons for making the trip were none other than for her. She had called me again this morning saying she was going home and wanted me to be there. When I showed my recalcitrance to be there just as a friend she told me she was thinking about that day at the beach house and wanted to talk to me about it. I knew I didn’t want to talk as much as act about it but that was just me. Before her, I had never felt serious about a relationship. I never really gave a damn about sleeping with someone men or women. I never cared about what they were going to say after I slept with them. I didn’t mind when they were mad at me for just wanting fast sex. I just knew that I wanted them at the moment and that was it, sex with no strings attached. This time around it wasn’t the same; I didn’t want some fast sex with a good friend or a stranger. I was looking to make love with my soul mate. I didn’t want to overanalyze what was happening to me. I wasn’t ready to look at it in any way other than what I stated it was. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I had fallen in love.